Friends By Chance, Sisters by Choice!


As I get older, I think a lot about my friendships. I’ve pondered what makes a good friend. Why did I choose the friends I have? The insecure part of me questions why they chose me as a friend. Over the years I have lost friends and gained some fantastic new ones. It is just par for the course. Out with the old and in with the new, I suppose. One thing that I know for certain is that I have cherished all my friendships both past and present; and given them my all. When it comes to friendship, I go all in.

Everyone has that one friend. They always have your back and they know you better than you know yourself. They tell you what you need to hear, and not what you want to hear. They come into your life abruptly, and they never leave. They aren’t just friends; they are family.

I don’t have one friend like that. I have two. I am doubly blessed to call two of the most beautiful women in the world my best friends. They aren’t just beautiful women; they are both absolutely gorgeous. Their genuine beauty lies on the inside. Cliché, I know, but it is the absolute truth. They have enormous hearts and would do anything for the people they care about. They are so kind and nurturing, both amazing mothers. They make me want to be a better person every day. They also remind me of the kind of mother I want to be. They are both raising amazing kids that are as precious to me as their mommies are. They are excellent role models for my children, especially my daughter (who loves them nearly as much as I do).


I have had a lot of friends throughout my life. Some who I thought of as best friends (or very close friends), but unfortunately for whatever reason we grew apart. We all got older, and often life got in the way. Some got what they needed from me and moved on. Others didn’t have small kids at home, and when my ability to go out and party disappeared, so did they. Not all of my friendships over the years have come to complete ends, some just became acquaintances. A birthday message on Facebook, a Christmas card, or a random text lets us know the other person is still around. Sometimes I hope to kick start the friendship that was once so important to me, even when I know it wasn’t important to the other person. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it stings. I take it personally, even when I don’t want to.

That is the difference with my two best friends. Even when they both lived out of state we remained close. After years of friendship, we have had minor disagreements (all family bickers), but we have never had a major fight. They have never betrayed me, and I have never betrayed them. At least I hope they have never felt betrayed by me. These two strong women have endured so much loss in their lives, yet they never lost themselves. They have faced grief and trauma head-on, and they came out the other side stronger. We have been through breakups and losing parents. I have held their hands through it all and they have held me up in return. Even with all the tears, there have been a million more laughs. I had the honor of standing with them as their Maid of Honor on their wedding days. Of course, they both stood with me as well. I could have never married without them both there. I was in the room when one of them gave birth, and they both would have been in the delivery room with me, had I not had c-sections. They have literally been there for almost every adult milestone.  My son is so lucky to have them as his Godmothers. But it goes way beyond that. Most people cannot say that they have been best friends for their whole life. I can! These ladies came into my life at very different times and in very special ways.


When I was two years old, my mom took a job in a flower shop. Her boss, who would eventually become her best friend, had a daughter my age. Well, not quite my age, she is a whole six months older than me (which is very important now that we are older)! We grew up doing nearly everything together. We took dance, swimming, and ice skating lessons together. Full disclosure, we sort of took ice skating. If hiding behind the lockers and eating snacks during the lesson counts, then we definitely took ice skating lessons. We had so many sleepovers, where we put on fantastic shows or presented fabulous art made from junk. We took lots of road trips and sang along to the same song by Chicago over and over. After watching the movie Mannequin one too many times, we thought we had found our calling. We ate pickles until we were sick. We went on walks “collecting” the most beautiful rocks. We even found an interesting way to dispose of cookies we didn’t want to eat. Almost every memory of my childhood includes her. Most of my favorite adult memories include her, too. She is the mother of three wonderful boys that I am proud to call my nephews. She makes being a “Boy  Mom” look like a breeze. Her boys are three of the sweetest little gentleman I have ever met. They are genuine reflections of her. Her best traits have been passed on to them. Her boys are some of the luckiest children in the world. Not only is she an exceptional mom, but she spent her life following her dreams. Yet another thing she makes look easy. Her commitment to her craft helps keep me focused on my own. Reminding me to keep writing, even when I do not get the results I want.  As kids, we bickered here and there, but we always had each other’s backs. Sadly, I do not remember the day we met; but the beauty of it is, I don’t remember a day that she wasn’t in my life. 40 years later and she still makes me laugh non-stop.  40 years of friendship has made us more than best friends. We are sisters.

Now my other sister I haven’t known for 40 years, but I have known her for more than half of my life. On our first day of freshman year, two girls ended up in the same homeroom. We also had the other six classes together. We had no choice but to be friends. The Universe threw us together. Okay,
maybe it was school admins! Whoever it was I am eternally grateful that she was put in my life. When I changed schools, there was no way I was doing it without her. So what did we do? We convinced her parents it was the best idea in the world. We were right! While we had great times at our first school, all of my best high school memories involved her at the second school. After high school, we remained close. We went to so many parties and clubs. I mean a lot of clubs. We were V.I.P. (at least in our minds), but we were definitely V.I.B. (very important bitches). She became a mother before me and I am in awe of the mother she is. She embraced motherhood and raised amazing girls. One who has grown to be one of the most AMAZING women I have ever met. She is everything I could hope my daughter grows up to be. She is strong, compassionate, intelligent, and brave.  All traits she got from her beautiful mother. I have had the pleasure of watching her grow from newborn to this amazing woman. I take so much pride in it. Not because I had anything to do with it, but because I can say that my best friend did that. When I look at her, I see my best friend. I see everything that I love about her encompassed into another human being.

I could go on about these two AMAZING women forever. They are the world’s best friends, amazing mothers, and just fantastic humans. I do not know where I would be in my life without them. No two people outside of my family have been there for me more than they have. I am who I am today because of them. There is no way I could ever pay them back for all they have given me in my life. The constant love, laughter, and support they have given me is unbelievable. I am so thankful that our paths crossed so many years ago. I hate to think who I would have turned out to be without their influence.

While I may not remember or understand the dynamics that brought us together, I thank God every day for giving them to me.  I cherish them so much and hope that I have given them at least half of what they have given to me.

Over time, friendships change; but genuine friendships will weather every storm and last forever.Over time, friendships change; but genuine friendships will weather every storm and last forever.




Comments

  1. Love this post. Friendships are so tricky as you get older but it's important to have those friendships that last a lifetime.

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  2. Aw, how blessed you are to have two amazing friendships! Your post makes me miss my friends so much. I moved away almost a year ago, and I haven't been able to go back due to the pandemic. I'll have to reach out to them! Thank you for sharing. xo

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  3. I love this so much, once you really find your people or tribe it is so important to never let them go. I wish could find a set of ride or die friends but I have resided myself to life is dance and I friend that float in and out but never seem to stay.

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  4. This is absolutely beautiful! What true and amazing friendships. You all are so incredibly lucky. I have one and I'm so blessed for that!!Congratulations on these wonderful friendships.

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  5. My sisters are my best friends as well! Thank you for sharing this beautiful part of your life. I really enjoyed it! :)

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  6. This is lovely, you're right though when you get older people come and go xx

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  7. Loved the title! Really amazing!

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  8. Thank you for this heartwarming post!

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  9. It is very touching! You are really lucky to have such friends . I wish I had such true friends.

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  10. Very nice tribute to your friends. Now, I am wondering about the "interesting way of disposing of cookies" you didn't want. Did this involve feeding a pet? :)

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    1. Was more like it involved a toilet, and a plunger.

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  11. What a heartfelt and touching post. I really resonate with your reflections about friendship--I've learned is to appreciate people while they are in my life. As a veteran I would move duty stations every two years (and everyone is coming and going), but I am amazed that the right people were in my path each time and I have built some meaningful, deep connections. Thank you for sharing!

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  12. This is such a beautiful post! I agree friends are to be cherished for life and you are blessed to have 2 such great friends!

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  13. Having supporting friends is so important. Glad that you have two wonderful ones. Loved reading this.

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  14. A beautiful tribute to your two friends. You have no doubt touched their hearts with your words. Thank you for sharing here.

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  15. It’s such a blessing to have one or two genuine friends. You are really blessed to have such amazing friends, they sound like your sisters and it is beautiful. I’ve also narrowed down my friendship list because not all of them where genuine. I also have a handful of great friends are there for me and vise versa and they have become family to me. I count myself blessed

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  16. I love this, it reminds me of the relationship I have with my best friend. Thanks for sharing this.

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  17. Friends like this are priceless. So glad you all have each other.

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  18. Honest and truly caring friends are hard to have. Glad you have each other!

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  19. Wow. This is the sweetest thing I've read in a while. I miss my sister soooo much! (I live abroad) I just talked to her this morning and found out she is pregnant - I've been homesick all day haha

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  20. I have four younger sisters and I don't know what I would do without them! I loved reading this

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  21. Loved reading this probably also because I've always struggled to create friendships. Especially with females. Lots of jealousy and wrong emotions. My only and true and the only friend I've ever had is my mum. Thanks for sharing :)

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  22. Aw this is such a beautiful read! really nicely put!

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  23. Manisha - Such a beautiful relationship you both have. I really respect friendship and I have had many ups and downs related to it, hopefully I can form a similar bond with my friends.

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  24. What a beautiful tribute to your friends. As we grow older, our friendships, especially those long lasting ones become even more important. I think that having small kids and family may keep us away for a while (unless it happens at the same time) but real friendships always find their way back.

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  25. My sister is my best friend. I've had the same friends for over half my life and it wasn't until recently that I have grew apart from some friends, for unknowns.

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  26. Your friendship is thicker than blood, clearer than water. Nice!

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  27. 4blessingsandus
    I love your post. It’s really beautiful and nicely put together. Thanks for sharing!

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  28. Awesome post! My closest friends are people I've known since I was little. Great tribute to your besties.

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  29. This was a very beautiful tribute to your sister friends. I have been thinking a lot about friendships and relationships lately, so I'm certain your words will stick with me today.

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  30. It is rare to find a friend/s whom you can consider a family. Treasure them!

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  31. You are very blessed to have true friends in your life. We don't need heaps of friends in life, one few ones that are genuine are enough to keeps us happy and stay strong.

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  32. This is such an inspiring post. It isn't easy finding and keeping good friendships but once you find it, you must cherish it. You're so lucky to have such wonderful friends in your life.

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  33. You are truly blessed double to call two of the most beautiful women in the world your best friends. Cheers to true friendship.

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  34. I so agree to this. You have that special one whom you can tell everything about the private things in your life. Though some things aren’t the same when we all marry, friends are a source of life’s companion aside from our life partners.

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  35. I want to find a friendship like this. I just dropped all my friends because non of them talk to me since I decided to move to another city, better my life and stop drinking. So its just me and fiance. I am so happy for people who have that. Congratulations of finding your sister from another mister.

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  36. Friendships defiantly change as we get older. I myself have let go of 'friends' that were no longer aiding me in growth and it was the best decision ever. I'm happy that you're able to have wonderful friendships now!

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  37. This is so sweet! I have one friend sort of like this. I met her in first grade and we have been friends almost sisters ever since. When you can find those people who help to make your life so much richer and lift you up, it really makes all of the difference in the world

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  38. Yeah , it’s like people come and go and so friends... but there’s always one there that stay... lucky you for having a great fiend and for sure they are too for having you.

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  39. This is powerful. I've learned the importance of friendship over the years and I've always experienced so much pain and betrayal from people that I've held close and dear to my heart. It's always heartwarming to read about people's unbreakable friendships

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  40. This is so beautiful. It’s great that you have great friendships in your life!

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